Vol. 5, No. 11, November 2008
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Don’t Stress Out… Chill Out
No matter how tense you are, these tips can help you relax
Each night she served a variation of the same meal: ramen noodles with corn, bread and butter, and milk. (“Luckily,” she says, “the kids never got tired of it.”)
One winter afternoon, with the car again out of service, Evelyn found herself walking to the doctor’s office with a baby in her arms—in the snow. She remembers thinking, “This is crazy. When did my middle-class life turn into something out of Dickens?”
Soon after, it happened. At a friend’s house, she began to feel strange: light-headed, short of breath, clammy and very agitated. Though she was only in her 30s, Evelyn thought she was having a heart attack.
In fact, she was having a panic attack. The cumulative stress of her life—stress she had been trying to ignore—had kicked off a physical response that forced her to face her problems.
“Those attacks were scary,” she says. “I was desperate to stop them, so I did what experts always advise when people are super-stressed: I exercised, stopped drinking and smoking, and really worked to calm my thoughts.”
These days, the stress of making the mortgage, paying the light bill and keeping the kids in line can really add up. Don’t wait until your emotions get the best of you. Work now to develop a serene inner core that will keep you balanced in any crisis.
At her worst, says Evelyn, “I’d walk slowly around the neighborhood, repeating calming thoughts, until the anxiety passed. I spoke about myself as an observer might, saying, ‘Evelyn is so untroubled. No matter what’s going on in her life, she keeps a level head.’ I found the thoughts, repeated slowly again and again, very soothing and affirming. It was like meditation in the middle of huge anxiety.”
Evelyn’s “desperate hours” forced her to take a more measured approach to living.
“I developed better coping skills and took action to improve my situation,” she says. “Gradually, the panic attacks subsided. Today, I really am what I imagined and trained myself to be—fairly calm, no matter what life throws at me. Now things couldn’t be better.”
Relaxation techniques are great when you’re all wound up. Try these:
1. Breathe deeply, relaxing your body more and more with each breath. It’s the easiest method of all!
2. Use progressive muscular relaxation (PMR) to work out excess tension. Tense a group of muscles—your fists and arms, for example—so they’re as tightly contracted as possible. Hold them in a state of extreme tension for several seconds, then relax. Continue to relax until you’re utterly limp. By tensing first, you’ll identify the physical sensations of stress so you can identify them the next time they occur. You can also relax more thoroughly after consciously tensing, and if you practice enough, you get into the habit of relaxing each time you become aware of bodily tension.
3. “Run away” from your problems—literally. There’s no better remedy for excess stress than a walk or jog.
4. Use these techniques daily for 10 to 20 minutes. You’ll be so calm, your kids won’t recognize you!
Dream On!
To function well at work, at home, and at play, it’s vital to get a good night’s sleep. If you aren’t getting get your fair share of zzzz’s, try these bedtime tips:
• Listen to “white noise” or relaxation CDs. Some people find the rhythmic sounds of nature, like rushing ocean waves, to be especially soothing.
• Avoid snacks, particularly grains and sugars, that raise the blood sugar and inhibit sleep. If you're hungry, try a glass of milk and some protein.
• Sleep in complete darkness. Even the tiniest bit of light in the bedroom can disrupt your circadian rhythms, preventing sleep.
• Don’t watch TV right before bed. (Take the TV out of the bedroom!)
• Wear socks to bed. Believe it or not, cold feet can wake you up.
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