Vol. 5 No. 1, January 2008
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Horoscopes
AQUARIUS • Jan. 21-Feb. 19
Aquarians invest so much time fighting for lofty principles (truth, justice, world peace) they sometimes neglect their personal relationships. This month, hunker down with your honey (before your honey hunkers elsewhere).
PISCES • Feb. 20-Mar. 20
People are drawn to your kindness and gentle spirit. But there’s always a wolf on the prowl. Trust actions, not words. Make people earn your friendship. That’s not cynical. It’s sensible. (So is carrying a tire iron.)
ARIES • Mar. 21-Apr. 20
You’re fun, friendly, and darn it, people like you—especially now, when you’re at your vivacious best. In January, expect plenty of invitations, and RSVP in the affirmative. Let others radiate in your glow! (Just bring the bourbon.)
TAURUS • Apr. 21-May 21
Wait a while before asking for that annual raise. Those around you—including the high muckety-mucks—don’t value your staunch work ethic. But fear not. Soon, they’ll recognize the star that you are! (Then, you’ll be fired.)
GEMINI • May 22-June 21
Gemini, you launched the New Year with ambitions and dreams that reach to the stratosphere. Keep in mind that dreams need a plan, a plan B, and a deadline. Once you have those elements in place, there’s no place in the universe you can’t soar. (Even Newark.)
CANCER • June 22-July 23
How you react to the negative behavior of others says a lot about your maturity. You’ve learned to manage others without being influenced by them. Now people look to you for cues on how to respond to conflict. (That’s right, by freaking out.)
LEO • July 24-Aug. 23
Leos are known for their passion, charisma and talent. But there is someone close to you who resides in your shadow. Just once, hide your light under a bushel and let a lesser beacon shine. (Then send them back to the dark side.)
VIRGO • Aug. 24-Sept. 23
Your contradictory nature is in play this month—so much so, you feel downright schizophrenic. Who should you heed, the angel on your right shoulder, or the devil on your left? Even sensible Virgo can benefit from going a little crazy. (Watch out for the guys in the white coats.)
LIBRA • Sept. 24-Oct. 23
You’re feeling creatively frustrated, so why not embark on a new hobby or pastime? Learn to speak French. Take a flying lesson. Try a belly dancing class. Sing in a jazz club. Anything that shakes up your world is the remedy for you. (Rob a bank. Stalk someone.)
SCORPIO • Oct. 24-Nov.22
Beware of participating in office gossip. Though it’s fun and often harmless to dish the dirt, assume a more professional demeanor, and you’ll win the respect of your colleagues. (After you tell everyone what the boss is doing.)
SAGITTARIUS • Nov. 23-Dec. 21
Someone in your circle finds you suddenly irresistible. Though you’re flattered by the attention, make sure you carefully weigh the consequences of an extracurricular romance. Passion is an explosive. Handle with care. (You hunk of studliness, you.)
CAPRICORN • Dec. 22-Jan. 20
Your practical side may be working against you in matters of the heart. Though you’re smart to be prudent about love and romance—the source of much pain in your past—the time has come to fly without a net. So take a deep breath and jump! (And wait for the splat.)
