Vol. 3, No. 12, December 2006
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New Eats and Old Stones
We can all be happy now. We can all go out together and have a meal. Hey, we can go out and have a Happy Meal.
That’s because the latest magnet for tourism in Atlantic City is also the latest addition to our world-class lineup of restaurants. That’s right. It’s a newly expanded McDonald’s restaurant at the foot of the Expressway.
People coming down the Atlantic City Expressway will hereafter be awed by more than just the breathtaking skyline of hotel casino resorts. Those magnificent hotel lights will now frame something even more desirable—the Golden Arches, beckoning road-weary travelers to stop in and have a Big Mac Attack.
Our mayor, Bob Levy, actually took time out from his busy schedule last month to christen this new temple of gastric delights. I actually received a “Media Alert” about the event, on McDonald’s stationery that bore the familiar yellow-arches logo along with the venerable company’s eloquent and inspiring corporate slogan, “I’m Lovin’ It.”
The headline on the press release was:
“Mayor Drives-Thru To The Future Of Atlantic City.”
Hizzonner was among the first guests to experience the modern, improved and renovated drive-thru at the city’s premier McDonald’s. It says here that the mayor “believes the new and contemporary McDonald’s restaurant is a great example of how Atlantic City continues to move forward and offer the exciting attractions for residents and tourists.”
Just call him Mayor McCheese. He’s going to super-size our city, and transform it into the shining drive-thru on the hill, a city worth of not one, but two all-beef patties.
And, just in case you didn’t know, I support Mayor McCheese heartily in all his endeavors, particularly his drive to rid the city of the Hamburglar. (By the way, I may be wrong, but I think I saw Craig Callaway working the French-frier.)
Speaking of gastric delights, if you turn to our “Tides” section, you will see that the city is ready to hold another meatball-eating championship, hosted by Carmine’s Restaurant and my favorite sports organization, the International Federation of Competitive Eating.
Yes, the IFCE.
Believe it or not, many of these eating events are now televised. We now have IFCE on ESPN. And why not? Sonya “The Black Widow” Thomas is a 105-pound waif who, at last year’s event, scarfed down more than 10 pounds of Carmine’s meatballs in 12 minutes. It was an inspiring feat of athleticism, an unlikely thrashing of many much more portly competitors. And, as you can imagine, it was quite a grisly spectacle. As ESPN has realized, this stuff is better than Jerry Springer!
Turning from food to entertainment news, you may have noticed that the Rolling Stones did not actually appear in the city on October 27 like we said they would. That’s because Mick Jagger, the “Great Grandfather of Rock and Roll,” came down with laryngitis. The Stones played their Atlantic City gig at Boardwalk Hall on November 17. That was after we went to press, but I’m sure it was probably a gas, gas, gas.
That’s not good enough for Rosalie Druyan of Brooklyn, who is suing the band for $51 million for canceling the first show. She’s accusing Jagger and the Stones of fraud and acting in bad faith for canceling the October 27 gig without enough notice for fans like her to cancel travel arrangements and hotel bookings. She was stuck for $575 in tickets and $300 in hotel reservations at the Trump Taj Mahal.
So, yeah, $51 million should cover it. Come on, Rosalie. The gig was just postponed, and all Uncle Mick had was swollen pipes. At this point, you should be thankful that a Stones show isn’t canceled because of one or more band members being dead. I think their entourage now includes a coroner.
Oh, well, on to the holiday season. You’ll find lots of gift ideas in our dual cover stories. You’ll find a lot of unconventional ideas, like gift certificates for horseback riding, Surf tickets, restaurants or other fun stuff.
Personally, I’m picturing Christmas morning unwrapping a gift certificate to the new McDonald’s. I’m lovin’ it!
